For a few days and nights (yes, it’s been keeping me up) I’ve been self reflecting. For a while now, I have been feeling like I was stuck. No matter what I did, no matter how hard I worked towards my goals, no matter how much I applied myself, or how much work I put in. I felt like my life was stagnant.
Feelings of frustration and depression were the norm. To top it all off, I had been experiencing a lot of loss back to back the past year and a half and the grief was never-ending. I had really began to feel defeated and I withdrew from everyone around me.
I had to face myself and find where I had gone off to hide. I didn’t really feel like me anymore. I had become lost in a whirlwind of my own circumstances and I knew that it wasn’t a safe haven for me.
Emotionally, I was drained and unavailable. It was like everyone around me was moving at the speed of light, living their lives but somehow time had stopped for me. I was tired of wearing the facade of a happy faced woman. It was time, time to get control over my life and time to get back to me.
I had began meditating again. I renewed my journey in yoga. I began writing again. I began praying for myself more. I put me first. Through all of this my lens began to find it’s focus again. My smile is fully genuine once again. The melody of my laughter is infectious. I am learning to be carefree and through this my heart is reaping the benefits of healing.
I am on a journey of self rediscovery. Ridding my life of all the people and things that no longer serve my peace of being. I have found that through this I have started unblocking my blessings and I honestly feel like I am starting to righteously step into my purpose as it begins to unfold before me.
I am rediscovering my peace and happiness which, I will protect at all times and at all costs. I am choosing to be happy. I don’t want to be associated with negativity (not that I ever was) and I am choosing to let go of anything that dwells in negative spaces. I am not willing to compromise my mental and emotional health for anyone else.
I understand everyday will not be a picnic. Some days will be more challenging than the last but I’m up for it. I will no longer allow myself to feel discouraged. I deserve to live in pure bliss. I owe it to myself to allow my light to beam, unapologetically. One thing I have always known is that I can always, in all ways count on me, myself and I.